She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
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