No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
