HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
