I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Randomize
