i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
and you fell through a lawn chair
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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