I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
