She is in my trunk
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
