did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Someone stole a lamp last night.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
