that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Randomize
