Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
