ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
