Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
