I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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