going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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