He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize