Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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