And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
