Need sex. Gaining weight.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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