just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
