Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
True college students do jello shots in the library
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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