Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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