walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize