Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
