College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
