after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
