I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
...so i touched it.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
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