I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize