I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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