Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
