I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
