thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
