we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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