Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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