I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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