I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
