I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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