i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
