you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
