NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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