Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
