We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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