It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
