Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
