What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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