Jerry, you need to find god
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
