Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
