Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
