Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
