apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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