Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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