quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Randomize
