Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
My balls are so social today.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
