the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
