Its about making memories worth repressing
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
