Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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