we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
