So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
