it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
