so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
