We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
