Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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