I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
