operation harelip BJ is a go
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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