We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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