I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Randomize
